Choosing Happiness Anyway: My Honest Mom Post about the Start of 2019 & What To Do When Things Aren’t Always Feeling On the Up & Up!

Hey Mamas! I hope that you are all having a great new year and enjoying our now third week of January. Boy ol’ Boy does time fly by fast. Which is why it’s so important to be happy and live our lives with purpose. I have to be honest with you guys. This year started off pretty rocky for me and lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve kind of lost my way. I was doing so well last year. No actually, that’s an understatement. Last year was amazing for me and it was honestly probably the best year of my life yet. I had accomplished major things that I hadn’t even dreamed of and I felt like I was the woman who was able to do 101 things and still come out successful and on top. I felt so proud of myself because although last year was my first year experiencing life as a single mom, it made me so good to know that I had gained back my independence, my strength, and the purpose that God had intended for my life. My son and I were doing just fine and we never wanted or needed for anything. My endless prayers, strength, and hard work is what brought me through and I finally felt that I was strong enough to make it on my own without the support of a man. That gave my life a whole new meaning and cultivated me into the woman that I had set out to be before I had even became a mom. This is why 2018 felt like my best year!

But when January 1st hit, my world felt totally different and things drastically slowed down for me. I no longer had a bunch of good news to post on social media to help inspire others. I didn’t start this year off with a ton of big plans and business deals in the works. I didn’t feel like I had a lot going on to help uplift others while still feeling “busy” and as productive as I usually do. And to be quite honest, I felt like my motivation slowed down. Last year I worked and worked and worked and life for me was all about work and balancing my new chapter as a single mom. Yes, I did accomplish some major things like buying my first home, getting a new car, securing my first partnership to get my children’s bow tie brand sold in stores, finally gaining my independence, and overall living my best life. But last year also did not give me a break. I was going non-stop in efforts to achieve my goals and still take on more.  I was literally working 6-7 days per week and just about every week at that. There wasn’t much time for Genesis and my personal needs because I was always on the go and when one task ended I was hurrying off to complete the next one. By the time the holidays hit, I felt depleted and exhausted and I badly wanted and consequently needed a break.

For the past several weeks, I’ve been feeling out of place and like nothing seemed to be going as planned. And I’ve been trying to figure out why and what I can do to get out of this slump and get back to who I was. After all, I’m the mom that’s always motivating others, inspiring women to pursue their passions and to keep on going, and the person who makes the sweetest lemonade out of the sourest hand of lemons. So, why have I been in such a funk lately and feeling lost in the shuffle? One theory that I have is that the gloomy, snowy weather in Chicago has a lot to do with it. It’s like when it’s bright, warm, and sunny outside you can’t help but to feel happy because life looks so beautiful and you’re happy to enjoy it. But when you‘re waking up at the crack of dawn, everything is dark, the weather is freezing, and all you see is snow outside it can make anyone feel a sense of depression and lack happiness. Even though, we all know that the weather is inevitable and something that we just cannot change. On top of that, when you feel like life is constantly hitting you from each and every direction and you just can’t get ahead, that never helps either and before you know it you’re feeling depressed and like something is wrong.

Two days ago, I told myself that whatever it is that I currently have going on, I have to do better, figure out a solution to my issues, and get back on track. Sitting around sad, feeling like I’ve lost myself, and feeling inherently sorry for myself just because I don’t feel like I’m as busy right now is not the way to feel nor do I deserve to beat myself down because of it. Everyone has a season to shine and maybe this is just my season to reset and rest for a moment. I’m still going to grind and none of this means that my work ethic should ever change. But I do need to work on not feeling bad about myself just because I too deserve to take a break from the constant struggles that life tends to put against us. My #1 goal for January and moving forward is to no longer allow the goals that I have set for my life to overshadow my happiness and cause me to feel like I’m not doing enough. I have accomplished a lot so far in my life and taken on significantly more than the average person. Every now and then, moms do deserve to sit back and reflect on the great things that we have done and take a moment to appreciate how hard we worked to get there, before always worrying about knocking out the next goal and taking on the next task. Take some time to live in the moment and be grateful for the things that you have accomplished because it was honestly a blessing that you were even able to do it.

We don’t have to feel like we’re unproductive just because it’s not “busy season” for us. Or just because we don’t have a lot of things to share and talk about on social media. I think that one of biggest problems that mompreneurs face is the constant need to feel like we have share our achievements with the world of social media and when we don’t have much to say, it makes us feel like we’re not doing shit when in reality that’s not the case at all.  In my case, I still have my demanding 9-5 job. I’m still chasing after my 4 year old and managing life as a special needs mom. I’m still managing two brands, squeezing in time to hit the gym 3-4 days per week, meal prep, spend time with my son, take him across town to doctors appointments and therapy sessions, and save whatever room that I have left for me. I’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to feel relevant and like I’m only worthy when I have a lot to share with the world and things to talk about on social media. But my life is bigger than that and everything that I do doesn’t have to be recognized by someone else just to make it as valuable and impactful.

Life is not all about what we’re doing and what we’re achieving, but instead who we are and how we’re living. For 2019, I choose happiness and I choose to find ways to enjoy my life more than I have in the past, while still being productive and being the version of myself that I can be. I encourage you guys to do the same thing and not beat yourself up the next time that you feel that things are moving slow and that you don’t have much to share with others. I’ve been there and my advice for you is to take a step back, live in the moment, reflect on the positive things, not fall into the pressures of keeping up this endless façade on social media, and instead just enjoy your life because you only get one! We are not measured by the things that we accomplish, but instead measured by the people that we are! Live your best life and make 2019 Your Year To Be Happy! I know I will.

Warmest Wishes and Cheers to a Great Year,

Genesis A. Emery


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