It’s amazing being a Mom! We were given the opportunity to do the extraordinary by bringing new life into this world and nurturing our children with everything that motherhood has to offer. We take on this amazing role of motherhood and still find room to focus on our careers, create our own businesses and side hustles, and even make room for the most important people in our lives- our families! But still, we don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit or even recognize a fraction of the work that we do. We are constantly striving for more and at many times, we never feel that we are good enough. We live in a state of constant guilt and come down on ourselves because we don’t feel that we are doing enough, as if our current workload and tasks aren’t nearly enough. But the question is, why do we feel like this? What is it about our lives that make us feel so guilty? Why are we always wanting to take on more? What are we trying to prove by constantly doing more than we actually can?
Just like you guys, I too tend to beat myself up at times and fall into a state of guilt because compared to what I’m currently doing and what I want to do, I feel like I’m not working hard enough to reach my goals. It’s like I wish I had more hours in the day to accomplish my tasks, reach my goals, and ultimately be the Mom that I feel that I am destined to be. I want to write motivational “How To” books and become a successful author one day. I want my son and I to have our own national TV show and expand our brand’s audience to a national level. I want to be seen as a global mommy influencer across various industries that other women and moms can look up to and gain positive insight from. I want my brands to be household names for the positive work that they contribute and the great impact that they have upon others. I want other large brands and corporations to seek me out for advice and feeback because I showed and proved that I was able to grow an empire on my own as a successful female entrepreneur and game changer! I want to have the freedom to literally do nothing but just simply be a mom and spend time with my family because my hard work has earned me that right to take a break and relax from the everyday grind from time to time. I want to be thought of as a subject matter expert when it comes to mommyhood, entrepreneurship, special needs parenting, and philanthropy for children. This is just a glimpse snapshot of my vision and some of my goals, and with the way that my plans are set up, they don’t stop there! Just like you, there is so much more that I want to do and am striving for each day to make these things happen and turn my goals into reality.
But here’s the thing, with wanting to expand our brands and take on more responsibility, there can be additional stress and even anxiety. Your additional priorities can also create a state of constant guilt when you feel like you’re not doing enough when your dreams don’t take off as quickly as you want them to. Ladies, we have to stop doing this to ourselves and carrying around this guilt like the work that we’re already doing is not enough. You are only one person and so am I. You only have 24 hours in a day and so do I. You only have the capability, strength, and human power to only take on so much at one time. Stop beating yourself down because things are not all happening at once and moving fast enough for you. It will happen. Trust me. As long as you’re purposeful with your brand’s intentions, setting appropriate goals that are both timely and attainable, and most importantly putting forth the continuous effort that it takes to get there, trust and believe that you will get there! It may take you several weeks. It may even take you several months or years. My point is, give it time and don’t easily beat yourself up just because you have desires to take on more. You are amazing enough already. Anything else that you do is just an added bonus in your life journey. Not to mention, while you are building, keep focusing on honing your skills and evolving into where and who you want to be! If your goal is to be a fashion designer next year, make sure that you invest the necessary time required to reach your goal so that when your season does come, you are ready to go and at your very best! Sometimes time can be a blessing in disguise and is needed so that we can work on being our best version of ourselves. Time is not going to pass you by just because its taking you longer than you planned to do something. Use that extra needed time to your advantage. When your vision is clear and your purpose is intentional, your time will come when the season is right for you!
Also, let’s address the fact that we need to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. Just because the seemingly perfect mom who lives down the street is able to generate thousands of dollars from her side hustle each month, still make time to bake cookies and show up at every PTO meeting, throw the most glamorous birthday parties for her kids that looks like it was inspired right off of pinterest, and even appear like she is always on top of her game, doesn’t make her a better mom than you! In fact, who knows what’s really happening behind the scenes and what it took for her to even reach this point. She may be struggling at home trying to find a way to make it all work. She may even be depressed deep down inside because her life is flooded by her workload and productivity, meanwhile her enjoyment and happiness is far away. Her relationship with her children may be suffering because she never has time for them and can’t be as great of a mother at home as she appears to be on the surface. My point is that we must stop comparing ourselves to other moms and women in general just because their grass looks a little greener on the other side. We find ourselves constantly believing that someone else’s life is better than ours or that someone else is a better mom than us because they appear to have it all. Then we’ll turn around and feel guilty about ourselves because we can’t “keep up” and don’t feel like we are “doing enough.” It’s time to stop and just focus on our own journey and not someone else’s.
And lastly, let’s not ever forget that our #1 priority and full time role is being a mother first before anything. Don’t fall into the traps that entrepreneurship can bring by feeling that you have to take on more than what you can actually chew just so you can look busy and feel like you’re being productive. Focus on your primary role and that’s motherhood. Focus on maintaining an awesome relationship with your children and loved ones. Focus on living your best life and doing things that truly make you happy-whatever that may be. You don’t have to wear a thousand hats just to be an entrepreneur and you don’t have to be labeled as a supermom just to be a phenomenal mother. You are good enough already. So appreciate that and just enjoy the moment! You only get one life so live it your best and enjoy the beauty of everything that it has to offer!
Until Next Time,
Have a great Monday Mamas!